This possible CPT II situation has been an extra challenge to figure out on top of being a first-time parent. I knew becoming a parent would test my faith. I didn't really expect how deeply it would cause me to question my faith. Yet through every step of the way, through all my questioning, there has been a steady peace.
- How does our situation bring God glory?
- "Will you still love me even when things are not what you expect? Will you still trust me?" - God
- Is God still good even when things are more difficult than you expected?
- Psalm 139:13-14, "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."
How come some babies are created with bodies that cannot properly process the food that was created to sustain them?
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6
What have I learned through all of this?
My prayers before Sarah was born were often involving giving Sarah over to God and that she would be His child. We asked that God would give us strength and understanding to raise her up to be a woman of God and become the best that she could be. I tend to be a pretty cautious person and a big fear of mine is that I will do something, or not do something, and harm will come from it. With the threat of Sarah having CPT II, it became very evident that I have very little control and that Sarah is God's child given to us to care for while she is here on earth with us. Something could be going wrong internally (and can with any child, CPT II or not, but it just seemed more likely) and we would not know. I learned to trust God more and give Him my anxieties because they were pointless and out of my control. Sarah is just going to live and we will do our best to care for her with whatever needs arise and not stress over things that are out of our control. In this, I have found freedom.
Blessed Be Your Name by Tree63
Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out, I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out, I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name
Fool for You by Nicole Nordeman
There are times when faith and common sense do not align
When hard-core evidence of You is hard to find
And I am silenced in the face of argumentative debate
And it's a long hill, it's a lonely climb
'Cause they want proof
They want proof of all these mysteries I claim
'Cause only fools would want to chant a dead man's name
Maybe it's true
But I would be a fool for You
All because You asked me to
A simpleton who's seemingly naive
I do believe You cam and made Yourself a fool for me
I admit that in my darkest hours I've asked, "What if?"
What if we created some kind of man-made faith like this?
Out of good intention or emotional invention
And after life is through, there will be no You
'Cause they want proof of all these miracle I claim
'Cause only fools believe that men can walk on waves
Maybe it's true
Unaware of popularity
Unconcerned with dignity
You made me free
That's proof enough for me
I would be a fool for You
Only if You asked me to
A simpleton who's only thinking of the cause of love
I will speak Jesus' name
And if that makes me crazy, they can call me crazed
I'm happy to be seemingly naive
I do believe You came and made Yourself a fool for me
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